I lost my heart in Vrindavan...

Because of the nature of my journey, its quite difficult to keep posting things in the blog... sometimes I lose interest in it, specially for practical reasons... Some say that "personal history is a dead weight" and this surely has a lot of truth in it... Hopefully whatever I post here can serve a higher purpose (somehow)... 

Anyways, I might keep posting few things or perhaps nothing else, depending on the circumstances... The following is a combination of some dispersed random silly stuff along with a couple of lines one might call "useful".

I have to confess that sometimes I feel "fed up" with the superstitious and exotic ambiance that is contained within the whole Indian atmosphere... You will find in every corner Barbie-like statues of all the gods & godesses available in the Hindu pantheon (more than 3000!), all sorts of blind beliefs, rites & rituals... vicious monkeys and fake babas infesting the surroundings... "priests" in the temples spewing cheap talks to get some rupees from you... etc

I know I said that I wont comment on these things, but is inevitable... so here I  go again... In most towns there's a very particular combination of pungent fragrances... cow dung, human urine, incense and gasoline! That, plus the sizzling sun that hits right through your bones can be quite a killer combination, even for the most ascetic characters! unless you were born in such a context (i guess)... I have seen the most crude scenes so far in my life... specially in the train stations... people and animals with all kind of diseases and physical impediments... misery to the max... children pooping and peeing right there in the floor... and then rats having a feast with the leftovers! ...

Then you hear the voice: Everything is contained within the realm of the divine! ...so you humble yourself, enjoy again, and put an end to the chatter... Yet, and specially in a place like this, a keen critic-intuitive mind can save your skin more than once.

Then, out of all that you find once a while a pious woman smilingly grinding corn or  manifesting a true act of worship and devotion... people engaged in beautiful ceremonies or happily dancing and chanting in the temples... the most simple towns with their mud hut buildings, water buffaloes and a gang of children playing barefooted... ancient-culturally rich sites... beautiful landscapes... a silent saddhu ready to stare at you with deep embedded eyes...  and the breeze that soothes your body at night while you sleep at the verandah of a temple listening in the background to prayers, bhajan and kirtan... sometimes all night long!

Its funny to see how some people see you (foreigner) as a an alien...  The other day while visiting a temple a young, extremely beautiful woman approached and asked me, with their unique soft voice, sweet smile, anjali mudra and head movement: Sir, what is your good name? ... once I presented myself she said ... Oh very nice, may I take a picture with you? ... I laughed and posed with her... in the meantime, while her friend was taking the picture, an old vasana showed its face suddenly... I could almost hear a voice in my head saying: "Oh my God, you're so beautiful!" ... Fortunately I didn't act out any of my thoughts... and again the voice: "But wait a moment, to say to a woman that shes beautiful is ok!"  ... yes yes, but... i better shut my mouth on this one.

Thank you sir, thank you... she was gone...

and then, while reflecting on a corner the insight took place in my mind:

Once the mind is free from lust or any other impurity one can enjoy Gods lila and recognize the beauty in the forms without getting caught in it...but is a very thin line...

Oh foolish pilgrim!, what lies beyond the facade of beauty that your eyes are gazing upon?

Two things! , and one cannot be even called "a thing"...

In the realms of the unseen there is the all pervading luminous Self, that which cannot be possessed, that which you already ARE!

In the phenomenal plane... a bag of bones, pus, blood, urine, fecal matter, flesh and organs! decorated externally by a mask which the senses judge as beautiful...

Right on! after such a mercy-filled whipping the only thing to be done was... to keep walking!

If there is a place more suitable for living as a  parivrajaka (spiritual wanderer) then India and perhaps the buddhist countries (myanmar, thailand and lanka) would be in the top list, this for various reasons:

Such a life-style here is not only culturally accepted but also socially embraced, specially if they sense a vibe of authenticity in you, therefore to get biksha is quite easy...

Climatically speaking, is very hot, that allows you to wear almost nothing therefore you can travel with the most basic stuff, and there's always a shade of a tree waiting to provide you with its solace and public water faucets all around to refresh yourself whenever its needed... But still, even in Costa Rica where there's no tradition of renunciation I never lack of anything... everything just came without the need of even asking for it! so i guess is just a matter of faith and trust...

It takes a lot of time to move here from one place to another and it can become quite exhausting... Its been almost a month and i just make it to move from one state (uttarakhand) to another (uttar pradesh)... Im doubting the possibilities to cross to ancient Ceylon (now known as Sri Lanka) for two reasons... seems that the ferry is closed and a plane ticket will cost too much (at least for my budget) and secondly... Time!... yes, in this material plane were always running out of time.

I stopped for a couple of days at Sadhana Kendra Ashram (www.sadhanakendra.org) which is surrounded by the mystic Himalayan foothills situated on the banks of the holy Yamuna River... its gushing is like a lullaby at nights... Here dwells a well known silent sage named Chandra Swami... I was blessed to receive his Darshan and holy communion... Very powerful experience...
In most ashrams they would say that they don't charge anything (bc that is how it was set traditionally for ashrams) but sometimes they will let you know very clear with their funny indian accent: "We dont charge anything here, but know that we spend on you 400 rupees everyday!"  and then if you don't have money but you are a monk they might allow you to stay only for 2 or 3 nights, unless you want to give yourself wholeheartedly to the cause, and that of course changes the whole panorama...

Before I left this ashram one of its beautiful dwellers provided me a couple of fruit bars, almonds and some rupees for my trip... "Know that you're are on a very good path, remember that when you leave everything for God, He becomes automatically responsible for you... therefore you will always have His protection everywhere you go!" ... The words of this brother provoked comforting shivers throughout  my body and immediately brought to my remembrance the words of Jesus in the book of Mathew:

	"Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment?
	Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they?
	Which of you by taking thought can add one cubit unto his stature?
	And why take ye thought for raiment? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin:
	and yet I say unto you, That even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.
	Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is cast into the oven, shall he not much more clothe you, O ye of little faith?
	Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed?
	For your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things.
	But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.
	Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof."

To live a simple life, and to renounce to its comforts is what is called the lowest kind of Vairagya... Actually you are renouncing to things which are ultimately bound to become trash (if they are not already), therefore what can you aggrandize yourself for? this is always a good recorderis for our fellow saddhu who sometimes feel a bit fluffed for living with almost anything... Renounce to the thought of renunciation itself (ego) This has always been the teaching of those Mahatmas...That is True Vairagya! and for that, a true vairagi will always aim, even if his/her body lives in a palace of gold.


After 12 hrs of trip by bus and train I reached  yesterday in the morning to the city of Mathura where Sri Krishna was born, and then I took a bus to Vrindavan... very picturesque town, fuuuuuuull of sadhus, wanderers, vaishnavis! and of course, cows, donkeys, camels and monkeys! ... Bhakti flows in the air... stands of flower garlands decorate the streets... Maha-mantra has possessed the place to its fullness... Very fascinating... This town is where Lord Krishna use to play his lilas with the gopis as a young boy... On the 28th Ill be celebrating Krishna Janmasthami (b-day) at the beautiful ISCKON temple... this is the most auspicious day for this city... lots of dancing, chanting, worshiping, and prasad!

This state, Uttar Pradesh is where Gautama the Buddha was Born, here he wandered 45 years teaching the Dhamma round and about...

According to what is commonly believed, 4 signs caused the young prince Siddharta to live the homeless life of a spiritual wanderer... First, the sight of an old man, feeble and withered. Second, a sick man surrounded by a pool of vomit and feces. Third, a stiff cold corpse... Then he saw a holy man, one of those who from time immemorial in India abandoned home, social status and "security" to face the meaning of life...

"This is one who searches for the deathless" said the charioteer to Siddharta..."Look how bright and clear are his features" ... From these sights, Gautama got his cue to go forth, from home to homelessness.

Here a beautiful paradox from a thudong bikkhu:

"A true wanderer wanders purposefully in the dharma-faring in order to put an end to wandering (samsara)"

Jay! ... Sri Krshna Sharanam Mamah !!!

Blessings...